


Maria, Maria

by nessismore



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Maria as Darcy's sister, Multi, Secret Relationship, Sisters, Tumblr Prompt, what is tagging?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 10:49:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nessismore/pseuds/nessismore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria has never been <i>that</i> kind of older sister, but she can't seem to keep her nose out of Darcy's love life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maria, Maria

They don’t tell anyone that they’re sisters—half-sisters, they would always say when they were younger. It wasn’t that they hated each other. Darcy was just so much younger, and Maria couldn’t stop seeing her as a kid that needed looking after all the damn time, especially after their parents died. It didn’t help that Maria was always so goal oriented and that Darcy was so…not. Maria was structure, by the book, and Darcy was _laissez les bon temps rouler_. Darcy was always telling her sister to pull that stick out of her ass, and Maria was always demanding that Darcy “grow up already.” They argued long-distance all the time, until New Mexico happened. When Maria had shown up after, not as a SHIELD agent, but as a sister, Darcy had seemed different to her, more grounded, on fire for  _something_  in a way she hadn’t been before. For Maria, knowing that her little sister had been in danger had been an eye opener, a stark reminder that Darcy was the only family she had left, and that she was an adult. They’d dropped the half after that.

Now, when they argue, they don’t do as much of it over the phone. Why bother, when they’re in the same city? For some reason, Darcy spends a lot of time at SHIELD HQ, where both ladies have agreed not to tell people that they’re sisters (although most of the building probably knew, because they were spies). When Maria sees her, she grouses, “Doesn’t Tony have any actual work for you to do?”

“Why give me work,” Darcy begins sweetly, “when he can just send me over here to bother you?” They’d argued about Darcy’s job, of course. As Tony Stark’s assistant, Darcy is too close to the Avengers, too close to the dangerous situations they tended to put their friends and families in. Maria had wanted Darcy to stay well away from them, but her sister was so excited about the job (one that she  _really_ wasn’t qualified for), that she bit her tongue. And she watched as her sister excelled.

It doesn’t mean that Maria can stop worrying about her, of course, because while Darcy does at times have legitimate things to do at HQ—whether it’s some contract between SHIELD and Stark Industries, or the self-defense lessons with Natasha both Maria and Tony insisted on—there are times when no one really seems to know what she’s doing there.

“That girl is up to something,” Maria mutters as she watches Darcy talk to Barton. Flirt would probably be a better word.  Barnes is walking by just as she says this and he stops beside her, eyebrows raised.

“Who, Darcy?”

“Yes.” She narrows her eyes as Darcy giggles at something Barton says. God, her sister’s taste in men sucks. It takes her a second to register that Barnes actually knows Darcy’s name. “You know Darcy?”

“Yeah, everyone knows Darcy. She’s a sweetheart.” He smiles, and Maria glares at him. “What? She’s harmless and she does her job. She’s not doing anything wrong.”

“It’s who she’s doing that I worry about,” Maria says, looking back at Barton and Darcy. Barton’s got his arm around her, and Maria’s really going to need to have a chat with both of them later. Barnes follows her gaze and laughs out loud.

“Really? Darcy and Barton? I think your sister would have better taste than that.”

“What makes you think she’s my sister?” Maria asks evenly. He gives her a look that says,  _You’re really asking this? I’m a spy_ , before saluting and sauntering off. She looks back over at Darcy. God, she hopes Barnes is right and that Darcy really  _does_ have better taste than that. Well, could be worse. Darcy could be dating Barnes.

With that awful thought, she gets back to work. She can deal with Darcy’s personal life later.

Later, she can’t seem to find Barnes anywhere. According to Steve, he’s supposed to be somewhere in the building, but it’s typical that Barnes is never where he’s supposed to be. None of the lackeys can find him, so it’s up to Maria to track him down, and she’s getting more irritated by the second. The gym is usually empty at this hour, but she hasn’t had luck anywhere else.

She throws open the doors and stops. It’s not empty. And someone is definitely getting lucky in here. The couple down on the gym floor doesn’t even look up. The woman’s on top, skirt bunched up around her waist, and she’s bouncing up and down on the man _very_ enthusiastically, moaning like a damned porn star. Maria doesn’t have to see the woman’s face to know that it’s Darcy. She recognizes the print on the blouse and the red heels still on the woman’s feet. She can’t see the man’s face, but it damn well isn’t Barton, because she just saw him in the hallway going to greet the transport Agent Romanoff was returning on.

Only one way to find out, Maria thinks with a sigh. “Darcy,” she barks. Her sister doesn’t even stop. Maybe she slows down a bit. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Darcy calls over her shoulder, her voice breathy. “I’m picking fucking daisies.”

“Darcy,” Maria snaps. “You’re not even going to stop?”

Darcy looks over her shoulder, bites her lip and sighs. “And let it go to waste? Are you kidding me?”

Maria hears a low chuckle, and this is just ridiculous. Darcy squeals as the man beneath her shifts, sits up, and she sees Barnes grinning at her from over Darcy’s shoulder. “You mind giving us some privacy?” he asks, running his hands down Darcy’s back. “Your sister’s about to come, and she gets real ornery when she doesn’t.”

Maria glares at him—at both of them, really. She could give a command, she knows, make it official, but she’d really rather not have any of this out in the open. For everyone involved. “Don’t think we’re not talking about this.”

They don’t even bother answering her; Bucky just spears his fingers through Darcy’s hair and pulls her in for a hard kiss. “My office when you’re done. Both of you.”

Darcy raises her hand in a little wave and Maria shuts the door behind her as she leaves. Darcy shows up forty-five minutes later, neatly put together, except for the hickey on her neck that her hair does nothing to conceal. Maria grits her teeth, knowing Barnes did that on purpose.

“Where’s Barnes?” Maria snaps.

“Got called away on Avengers business. Says he’ll be back to get his ass chewed out later.” Darcy grins, which somehow annoys Maria even more. 

She doesn’t mince words. “What the hell were you doing back there?”

“Learning self-defense,” Darcy shoots back innocently without missing a beat.

“What was Barnes teaching you to defend yourself from? Other dicks?” Darcy rolls her eyes, which Maria  _hates_. “Really, Darce? Barnes? Really?” 

“It’s a little more complicated than that,” Darcy mutters, the slump in her shoulders taking her from Stark’s personal assistant and reasonably well-adjusted adult to petulant little sister. Darcy seems so young sometimes, especially when she’s pouting.

“Of course it would be, with Barnes. I thought you’d outgrown this bad boy phase of yours.”

More eye rolling. “Here we go again.”

“Of all the guys in my organization,” Maria goes on like she hadn’t heard her, “you had to go after  _Barnes_?”

“What’s wrong with James?” Darcy demands defensively.

“If you had to choose one of the agents who’s most frequently in the line of fire, couldn’t you have chosen someone better? Like Rogers. Yeah, Rogers would be perfect for you. Hell, even Barton would be a step up from Barnes.”

“A, That’s not nice, and I am offended on Clint and James’ behalf. Behalves? Whatever. And B, remember that little agreement we made when I moved to the city? You stay out of my love life and I’ll stay out of yours? Yeah, invoking that now.” Darcy shoots her a sly look. “Unless you want to talk about why Dr. Banner was seen leaving your apartment at 10am this morning in the same clothes he was wearing last night?”

“Damned spies,” Maria mutters, and she thinks about it, finds that she wouldn’t mind talking to her sister about Bruce. There’s a first. She doesn’t like Barnes, and she doesn’t think he’s right for her sister, but—an agreement is an agreement. “Fine.”

“Thank you,” Darcy says with a smug smile. She turns to go when Maria stops her.

“Just one thing.” Maria says quietly.

Darcy huffs impatiently. “What?”

“Be careful, okay? Don’t get your heart broken?”

They share a soft smile, and Darcy shrugs. “Wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened. But I feel good about this one, sis. I know what I’m doing.”

Maria wishes she could be so sure. Despite her newfound maturity, Darcy’s still young, still a little flighty, and beneath Bucky’s veneer of charm, there’s a harshness that could shatter Darcy’s heart into a million little pieces. Maria doesn’t want that for her, but she’s trying really hard to respect that Darcy is actually an adult.

—

Her restraint is sorely tested a week later when she walks into Steve’s office. “Oh my God,” she says, because really, what else can you say to finding your little sister naked on one of your agents’ desks while said agent is eating her out?

From the way Darcy’s gripping Steve’s hair and bringing her hips up to meet his mouth, he’s doing a pretty good job of it, too. He looks up briefly when the door opens, long enough to register that it’s not a threat and that there’s no threat of the world saving kind on the horizon, and goes back to doing what he’s doing. God, what is  _wrong_ with the men in this building? A girl’s sister shows up, you  _stop_ fucking and get it together! You don’t  _keep going_.

“Darcy!” Maria snaps, and Darcy looks up. Her eyes are slightly glazed over, and she’s still pressing Steve’s face into her cunt.

“Privacy please,” Darcy demands, or tries to. The last word ends in a drawn out moan, and Maria knows she’s not getting her sister up anytime soon. And Rogers, well he mostly exists outside of her chain of command. Maria growls and opens her mouth, but Darcy beats her to it, “I know, your office when we’re done.” The last word ends in a shriek and Maria hurries out. The last thing she wants to see is someone making her sister come. 

After an hour, Maria’s about to send an agent to look for them when Steve and Darcy finally appear in her office. Fully clothed, thank God, but there’s a smear of red lipstick at the corner of Steve’s mouth, and Darcy’s buttons aren’t done up all the way. Did they  _just_ finish?

“Sorry about the wait, Deputy Director,” Steve says congenially. “It’s just she always gets a little cranky when—well, you know.” Darcy slaps his arm, and he laughs, pulling her in for a hug. 

Maria glares at both of them. “Yes, I’ve heard that. If you would like to sit—”

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to make sure Darcy made it here alright. But some Avengers business has come up.” He turns to Darcy, and quietly says, “See you soon?” She nods, and he presses a quick kiss to her lips before he disappears. Darcy sighs.

Maria runs a hand over her face in frustration. “What? Are you really complaining about Steve? Just last week you said he’d be perfect for me.”

“Not while you’re still sucking face with Barnes!” Maria snaps. “I saw you two making out in  _your_ office yesterday! What are you doing, Darcy?”

“It’s not what you think, although I’m not sure you’d much like the truth either—“

She can’t believe Darcy is actually trying to make excuses for this kind of behavior. Maybe three years ago it wouldn’t have been surprising, but now it infuriates her. “They’re friends, Darcy. Good friends. You can’t expect anyone to come out of this unscathed.”

Darcy crosses her arms over her chest defensively. “My love life is none of your business.”

“It is when you’re messing with my men.”

“Oh, they’d hate to hear you call them that,” Darcy says with a mocking laugh. “They aren’t yours.”

“While they’re putting their asses on the line for my organization, they sure as hell are my mine. And I’m going to look after their best interests. Right now, you aren’t it.”

Darcy stares at her in disbelief. “I can’t believe this.”

“I can’t believe  _you_. I thought you grew out of this bullshit—“

“That’s what it always comes down to, isn’t it? You’re twelve years older, so you’re always right. No need to hear explanations. I thought you’d grown out of  _that_ bullshit.” 

Maria flinches, stung. “Don’t make this about me—Where are you going?“ she demands when Darcy whirls around in a flash of angry eyes and dark hair.

Darcy looks over her shoulder, mouth twisted in a bitter smile. “You aren’t going to listen to a word I say, so why bother, right?”

“Wait—“ Darcy pauses, hand on the doorknob. An apology hovers on Maria’s lips, because she hates when they fight, and she hates that she feels  _wrong_ when she isn’t, damn it. So instead, she says, “I want to know what you’re going to do about Barnes and Rogers.”

The tension is palpable as Darcy balls her fists. Maria can hear her sister’s voice, faint, but distinct in counting to ten. When she speaks, Darcy’s voice is harsh and brittle. “Stay. Out. Of my relationships.”

Maria growls in frustration. “You’re acting like a child.” 

Darcy throws open the door and pauses to glare at her sister. “Fine. I’ll leave like one, too.” She slams the door hard, and Maria hears Darcy stomp away. Alone in her office, Maria slumps in her chair and hopes that when Bucky and Steve find out about the other, things won’t get  _too_ messy. Lord knows things are already messy enough between her and Darcy. 

—

Maria and Darcy don’t speak for  _weeks_. Maria doesn’t even see her around the SHIELD offices anymore, even though Maria knows Darcy’s been there. Barnes is even more of a cheeky bastard after her argument with Darcy, and she doesn’t know if he’s figured out her sister’s stepping out on him with his best friend, but there’s an angry edge to him when he interacts with her that borders on insubordinate. Maria’s ready to throw him through a window. Preferably one on the helicarrier. While it’s off the ground.

Somehow, she feels Steve would be even worse if he was around, but an Avengers-specific mission has kept him out of the state so she doesn’t have to deal with  _his_ disapproving face. This is ridiculous. She’s the deputy director of SHIELD. Barnes and Rogers are fucking  _her_ baby sister. If anything,  _she_ should be the one doling out disapproving looks, thank you very much. 

She gets notice that the Avengers have returned from their mission, and she goes up to see them—not because she’s sure that this is the only way she’ll see Darcy, but because a debriefing is necessary. Of course Steve isn’t there when she gets up to the roof. Neither is Darcy. The others—Stark, Banner, Thor, Romanov, and Barton—are all still around.

“Hill!” Stark says cheerfully, catching sight of her before she can turn around and head back down. “We’re ready to be debriefed! And if you’d like we can talk about the mission, too.” Stark winks. Maria barely reigns in the urge to knee him in the balls. Realizing she might as well get it over with, she leads them down to the conference room. None of them say a word about Steve, which means they probably all know where he is. From the slight smirk on Barton’s face, she’s pretty sure they know who he’s with, as well. Maria tries her best not to think about what they’re doing, because no. That is still her little sister, and she might be twenty-four, but she doesn’t want to even  _think_ about her having sex.

The briefing takes an hour and gives Maria a pounding headache. Bruce brushes his fingers against hers as the Avengers file out of the room, and at least she feels slightly less homicidal.

Slightly less homicidal, however, does not mean kind when she hears a giggle and a moan coming from behind the closet door. They are not the first amorous couple to get carried away at HQ—Maria would know, after all—but that doesn’t mean she’s going to walk by without issuing a stern admonishment. They have rooms, dammit. They don’t need to be fucking in closets. The door, of course, is locked, and she hears all sorts of breathy sighs as she makes quick work of the tumbler.

She throws open the door and grumbles, “Alright you—three?” Yeah, that’s definitely not a trick of her imagination. There are three of them, two men and a woman sandwiched in the middle, clinging to one of the men. Maria shudders a little at how stretched out she must be because both men are pants-less, and there’s no doubt about where their cocks are. The woman doesn’t seem to mind, though. 

Her eyes adjust to the dim light of the supply closet and she recognizes the woman. “Goddammit, Darcy, can’t you find somewhere else to fuck?” And of course it’s Barnes and Rogers with her. At least they stop this time. This time, however, they’re mostly naked.

“Can—“ she gasps as she shifts and turns to look at Maria. Steve strokes Darcy’s back soothingly, and Bucky kisses the back of her neck. “Can you give us a minute?”

Maria closes her eyes and makes a strangled noise. “Five minutes.” She points harshly at the three of them to make her point. “I don’t care how mad my sister gets if she doesn’t get off, you’re out of there in five minutes or we’re having this conversation with the three of you mostly naked.”

“It’s not like she didn’t come twice already anyway,” she hears Bucky say as she closes the door. Maria’s hands ball into fists, and she takes a deep breath as she tries to calm down. It doesn’t work. There’s a bit of a crash, and an “Ow! That hurt!” from Barnes. That helps a little. She can’t believe—she doesn’t even know what to think, to be honest, and she takes the entire five minutes to process the fact that her baby sister is in some sort of relationship with one or both of them, and that relationship involves threesomes.

Well, she thinks wryly, at least she isn’t breaking up the band. She can’t say Darcy didn’t try to warn her. It doesn’t make her like it any better. Darcy’s always been a little wild, but never  _that_ wild. What, she wonders, did they do to get her to agree to this? At exactly five minutes, she takes a breath. Calm. She can do calm. 

The door opens, but they don’t come out. “Gentlemen,” she snaps, “I’d like to speak with my sister.”

“So talk,” Barnes says, leaning in the doorway. Steve stands next to him, and Darcy is just barely visible beyond their shoulders.

Maria shoots them a killing look. “Alone.”

Steve’s jaw clenches, and he crosses his arms across his broad chest. “With all due respect, that isn’t happening. Last time you talked to her alone, you made her cry.”

Maria’s heart clenches at that, but she’s not about to explain herself to Thing 1 and Thing 2. “Move, or I make you move.”

“No.” Steve takes a step forward, and it can only be described as menacing. Well bring it, she wasn’t going to let him stand between her and her sister.

“Stop it,” Darcy says, placing a hand on Steve’s shoulder. He relaxes and covers her fingers with his. “I want to talk to her.”

“Are you sure?”

“You don’t have to,” Bucky adds. Maria bites back the urge to snarl at him. She watches as Darcy laces her fingers with theirs and squeezes their hands tightly.

“I want to. I’d really be pissed off if you made my sister hurt you.”

“Oh ye of little faith,” Bucky says with a laugh, and drops a kiss on Darcy’s nose. “We could take her.” Maria watches him stroke Darcy’s cheek, his touch surprisingly gentle for a man who’s done what he’s done.  

“Go,” Darcy says, shoving his shoulder, and he brushes a quick kiss against her lips, fingers lingering in hers before he steps around Maria and into the hallway. 

“We’ll be outside if you need us.” Steve captures Darcy’s lips in a very proprietary kiss, and Maria might have to reevaluate which of these guys she wants to knee in the balls more. And then they’re gone, leaving Darcy and Maria alone in the dim light of the supply closet. 

Maria closes the door.

“So you and the super soldiers,” she says, because now that she’s there, now that she’s seen them, she’s not sure what to think anymore.

“Don’t,” Darcy says with a shake of her head, “don’t judge me, okay?”

“I’m not judging you.”

“Yes, you are.” Okay, Darcy’s right. Maria is judging. A little. “You can’t help yourself, and that’s fine. But keep it to yourself. I’ve got two men who really love me standing out there just waiting for you to say something so they can play white knight. So just—don’t.”

“They really care about you, don’t they?” Although Maria’s caught a glimpse of it, she wants to hear Darcy say it, to be reassured that it’s not an illusion. “This isn’t just some wild, kinky, deviant sex fetish they have?”

“Great job with that not judging,” Darcy says with a laugh, but this one is full, open. A Darcy laugh, and not a Darcy-hates-her-big-sister one. “But yes. They care about me. A lot.”

“I was going to lecture you,” Maria begins.

“I’m so surprised,” Darcy interrupts with a giggle.

“I have to ask, because I’m your sister and I want you to be safe and happy. They didn’t coerce you into this arrangement, did they?”

“We were the ones who were coerced,” Bucky shouts through the door, proving Darcy right about her eavesdropping men. Then there’s a shout of “Ouch, cut it out, punk.”

“They didn’t coerce me,” Darcy says very seriously. “I’m not doing anything I don’t want to be doing, with anyone I don’t want to be doing it with. I know you don’t understand—“

Maria snorts. “You’re right about that.”

Darcy smiles softly and plays with the hem of her sweater. “But I love them, you know. Like, a lot. And I hope you can deal with it.” Maria searches her sister’s face for any sign of distress, anything that might say that she’s lying, but all she sees is the smile and a kind of glow of happiness that bathes her face. That, she can deal with.

“I just want you happy.”

“I am.”

“I know. So I’ll deal with it.”

“Even if you have to put up with Bucky?” Darcy asks with a grin. Reluctantly, Maria nods. “Thank you.” Darcy moves forward to hug her, but Maria steps back. 

“You’ve got Barnes and Rogers’ sweat all over you. I’m not touching you.”

“Okay, but that means you can never hug me.”

Maria didn’t really want to know that. She makes a sound of disgust. “You guys do it that much?”

“Yes,” Darcy sighs happily, and opens the door. “Steve just got home, so we’ll be going now.” She takes Barnes and Rogers’ hands and leads them towards the elevators. 

Maria shudders. “I don’t want to know what you’re doing.”

“I wrote all about it in my diary,” Darcy shoots back. “You can read it if you want.” Maria laughs as she watches them walk down the hall. 

“I do have one more thing to say, kid.” 

Darcy pauses and looks over her shoulder. “What?”

“No more sex in my building!” Darcy is giggling as she pulls Rogers and Barnes into the elevator, and she waves as the doors close.

Maria’s not going to pretend she understands what’s going on there, but her sister’s happy. Maria’s just going to count that one as a win.

 

**Author's Note:**

> lady-cheeky over at tumblr prompted: steve/darcy/bucky but maria hill is her secret older sister and stumbles upon them.
> 
> As usual, my brain went a little nuts.
> 
> Thanks as usual to katertots for beta-ing this. Any remaining mistakes are my bad.


End file.
